I regret
Intro
I am aspire to continue my study oversea either in Europe or North America. I don’t know why I am so aspire to study there actually (first confession), but the more I know that so many great books, brilliant mind come from that continent intrigue me to come there and study. You know, I feel like University where I was studied is nothing compare to University there even when University I attend was at the top at amongst other university 1 2. However, I do believe that the competence of student here in Indonesia is as good as there. Often time we just lack of information and the right mindset. I do believe that great minds not always comes from the west.
The Situation
Okay, at the end of October the registration of Fullbright Scholarship by AMINEF is open. I am very interested to join even I have no preparation especially in English proficiency test. The registration is closed in February, so I immediately book a seat for IELTS test nearby Jakarta for December. I also enroll an online course for IELTS prep, I imagine I can spare enough time to prepare. I pay $215 with PayPal from my oversea freelancing. The Week-1 came, I haven’t prepare anyting yet, I even have so many things to do. Thee Day-1 came and I haven’t prepare anything. I try to finish the course I was enrolled before, but it doesnt help. Then I try to entertaint myself by reading forum post that it is possible to got 7 in IELTS without prep as long as we know how the test structured. Tomorrow’s exam at 7 AM and I sleep at 12.15 AM.
The Day
I wake up at 3 AM, not thinking much time … I fall asleep again! No, I forget tomorrow is test. I wake up again at 9 AM, I regret, I can’t attend my test. Oh my, I lose my money and most importantly I lose my opportunity to get what I want.
Introspection
Now I rethink about my plan to purse higher study until PhD. Is it worth? What I want to search in life? Is it better to postpone the plan to apply for scholarship and try next year? Ah everything pops-up from my mind. Now the application will closed at 15th of February I have 2 months and 15 days. I still able to test once again, even it is like spending money double the cost (count the previous amount I’ve paid), but I am not sure I can tackle that test. The test result is 13 days after the test, so at least I need to tack the test again before the end of January. Don’t be like me my friends, seriously!
